We like Feast Days on the mountain -- it means we can skip Compline and go to bed if we are really tired! Sounds odd, doesn't it? But, as humans, we also get tired and would rather hit the hay than the prayer book. It is a nice break. I, and am sure others - like me - pray Compline in our rooms. We also have a special meal - which is a real treat during Lent! I had no idea that my birthday was one day after St. Benedict's Feast Day. Yes - you guessed it! This means two days in a row of having a special meal and no Compline! I have a class on Tuesday nights with the Postulant Mistress - and she asked if we could move it this week to Thursday...to give me an evening free to celebrate my birthday. It is small things like this that you find here on the moutain. People trying to be thoughtful.
Back to St. Benedict! The major reason I was drawn to St. Benedicts Rule was the amount of balance and fairness to humanity I found, there. This man was a remarkable character so far beyond his time. There were monastic communities during his lifetime, but they were rough and many times called for the members to live a life full of misery. This was not the intention of St. Benedict, who saw us all as being very human, as God made us. Therefore, we needed adequate shelter, food, and rest. If you read the Rule (version by Joan Chittister is my favorite),you will find time and again that St. Benedict states a rule and then turns around and says, "unless..... ." He made the Rule to be flexible according to the community, weather conditions, and even the different times of the year when daylight and darkness changed the rythmn of the day.
I could give you a history of St. Benedict, but that is easily Goggled, and so will not spend time here going through all of it. Let me add, however, that this remarkable man lived from the late 400s to the mid-500s. It is remarkable that his Rule continues strong today, but not surprising. I ask you to read it - as it is useful for any lifestyle, and was written NOT for clergy, but for the layperson. Joan's edition - with commentary will help you understand how to use it as a life rule in your home. I assume that most peope reading this are not monastics - HA!
One bit of information (true or not since there is very little about his life) that has always struck me in the heart. I quote a reference here: "We see him with his monks in the church, at their reading, sometimes in the fields, but more commonly in his cell, where frequent messengers find him "weeping silently in his prayers", and in the night hours standing at "the window of his cell in the tower, offering up his prayers to God"
Weeping. Why? For the giveness of others? For forgiveness of himself? For the pain and misery that surrounded him in his world? For not being able to lead all of his followers to God in the way he had intended? OR was he weeping FOR us? WITH us?
Monday, March 21, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Life of a Postulant
Not that MY life as a postulant is typical... however, from what I've heard, it could come very close.
As a Protestant, I know that others may not have a clue what it is like to be in a monastery. Try reading some of early Thomas Merton! Now... that might help to clear up a few things that I am trying to explain, here! No, of course -- not that all wise and holy stuff! I have a LONG way before getting there! But, the times when he writes of the difficulty in monastery life. It is NOT easy! At least where I live, we are not a silent Order, and therefore there is not as much passive-aggressive behavior going on! Imagine being really ticked off at someone and you can't even SAY anything!
For those of you that have lived in a large family, you might have a closer idea. All is NOT roses and light. Good thing I did not enter into the monastery believing it would be! In my monastery, there are nine of us. That makes 9 different personalities to handle and respect. Turns out, some are a wee bit easier to handle and respect than others! And, of course, how normal is that? As I am learning in my postulant class, it is truly HOW we come to deal with each, learn to deeply love and respect each other no matter how wounded we may be, determines how successful we are in our spiritual life. The monastery is NOT a place where you hide and pray all day. On the contrary, it is a place where you know you are never REALLY alone, because even in your private room, there is someone right on the other side of the wall.
And so, some days are easier than others. All days are worth it, let me tell you that straight up. Every one is SUPPOSED to have the same goal; to love and respect each other. That means, even when someone gives you a big kick in the self esteem, they hopefully will see that behavior (if not today, then in time) and grow from that, as well. In the kicked, it is a matter of seeing the other person as wounded and reaching out to understand them. Have you ever had your self esteem pummeled and then looked at that person as wounded; in need of understanding?
You may be getting my drift..... life in a monastery is not easy. It is not an escape from the world. It IS a place where the environment is looking toward love and understanding as best as each can muster. It is a place where God is the center. It is a place where personal spiritual growth is encouraged. We are NOT meant to become the same person. Thank goodness for that! It wouldnt work, anyway! Because God has made us differently; we would playing God to attempt to seek the person we expected us to be, rather than the person God made with love.
But - who is that? It is during the time of postulancy that I get to ponder that like never before. It will be a search that will never end. It is a journey that I embrace and, at times, wish I wasn't intent on embracing!
As a Protestant, I know that others may not have a clue what it is like to be in a monastery. Try reading some of early Thomas Merton! Now... that might help to clear up a few things that I am trying to explain, here! No, of course -- not that all wise and holy stuff! I have a LONG way before getting there! But, the times when he writes of the difficulty in monastery life. It is NOT easy! At least where I live, we are not a silent Order, and therefore there is not as much passive-aggressive behavior going on! Imagine being really ticked off at someone and you can't even SAY anything!
For those of you that have lived in a large family, you might have a closer idea. All is NOT roses and light. Good thing I did not enter into the monastery believing it would be! In my monastery, there are nine of us. That makes 9 different personalities to handle and respect. Turns out, some are a wee bit easier to handle and respect than others! And, of course, how normal is that? As I am learning in my postulant class, it is truly HOW we come to deal with each, learn to deeply love and respect each other no matter how wounded we may be, determines how successful we are in our spiritual life. The monastery is NOT a place where you hide and pray all day. On the contrary, it is a place where you know you are never REALLY alone, because even in your private room, there is someone right on the other side of the wall.
And so, some days are easier than others. All days are worth it, let me tell you that straight up. Every one is SUPPOSED to have the same goal; to love and respect each other. That means, even when someone gives you a big kick in the self esteem, they hopefully will see that behavior (if not today, then in time) and grow from that, as well. In the kicked, it is a matter of seeing the other person as wounded and reaching out to understand them. Have you ever had your self esteem pummeled and then looked at that person as wounded; in need of understanding?
You may be getting my drift..... life in a monastery is not easy. It is not an escape from the world. It IS a place where the environment is looking toward love and understanding as best as each can muster. It is a place where God is the center. It is a place where personal spiritual growth is encouraged. We are NOT meant to become the same person. Thank goodness for that! It wouldnt work, anyway! Because God has made us differently; we would playing God to attempt to seek the person we expected us to be, rather than the person God made with love.
But - who is that? It is during the time of postulancy that I get to ponder that like never before. It will be a search that will never end. It is a journey that I embrace and, at times, wish I wasn't intent on embracing!
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