After eight months, I transitioned from a Wannabe to a Postulant. In case I have not explained these titles (and there are more to come), let me go over them in a way that helps most Protestants. Being one of them - I know this helped me a lot.
Wannabe - Official title is Associate. You think she(he) looks really cute from across the room.... and wonder if there could be "something there."
Postulant - She(he) sure enough has turned out to be a really nice person. The feeling is mutual and so now you are dating. Let's see if there is something there that will lead to a whole change in your life!
Novice - It's getting a lot more serious - you are now engaged!!!
First Profession - Congrats! You are in your honeymoon period!...
Final Profession - WoW! You are happily married! Now, you works BEGINS! As with all long term relationships, it takes constant and committed work.
Hopefully, this gives you a better idea of where I am, and what is ahead. I know - most of us are into time, time,time - so let me tell you now, that I have no idea when I will transition from Postulant to Novice. It can take several months, a year and some have been known to take two years. I have a feeling that the two year ones had some REAL doubts, but who knows. The Associate time was one where I checked 'em out while they were doing the same with me. Could I "cut the mustard?" Was I able to "fit in" to a schedule, all those different personalities, and although never mentioned -- was I gonna freak out when the snow piled up and it got cold as an ice cube around here! In other words, and as Sr. Kathleen said during my Postulancy Service - Perserverance. And, I can tell you - it was one! So much to learn (it takes six months to find everything in that huge kitchen!), getting into the routine of making it to prayers, cooking for 10 to 18 people, dragging laundry to other buildings, keeping you mouth shut when you hear another saying something you think is really stupid! LOL Not getting ticked off when the one you share kitchen clean-up pretends they are allergic to the drying towel.
Yes, the monastery is filled with people you meet everywhere. The difference is that you have a place where everyone is actively trying to be the best they can be. Imagine it as a marriage where both partners are working at making it work out for the very best of each other - every day! Woo-Hoo - wouldnt that be something!
During my time as Postulant, I move into the Resident Hall and so here come more changes. How well do I adjust? This is something that will be observed. How well can I keep to the house rules (sorry, room parties are now a thing of the past!), and how many times can I make it inside without slamming the door? I imagine it will also be how I can work out sharing the bathroom with the Novice that shares it with me. Since I've already been cooking and sharing laundry days, and doing assigned choirs, this is something that I will not have to adjust too. Last summer, I think they knew that I was going to stick it out, so they added these areas right away... and that also helped them lessen their load. It now means I have that much less of an adjustment, now.
I meet once a month with the Postulant Director. She helps to guide me through this transition period. Monday, as we met, she reached out to let me know I can ask her questions any time. This is a good thing since this place does NOT come with a manual! She gave me the info about the Resident Hall being a quiet place - there will not even be other Sisters or Postulants or Novices stopping in for conversation, there. It is a place where we all know we can find a private and quiet area. Since the monastery is full people that are into projects, talking about any number of things, and Retreatants sharing their stories - to have a place of sanctuary outside of Chapel, sounds wonderful to me.
The room is also whatever you wnat to make of it. I painted the 10x11 foot room with the slightest lightest share of lavendar - and one wall several shades darker. Anyone who knows me, knows I am into PURPLE! I have brightly colored sheers with wild patterns on them (East Indian designs) and a lamp that is more than retro! I painted the woodwork stark white. My bed will be delivered SOMEtime, soon. We are waiting on that, since I obviously can not sleep on the floor!
Another change - budgeting to see how much I spend a month! Yuk! But, it is necessary, since the day will come when I will have $50/month to live on. Before you faint, or think I will be wearing rags wrapped around my feet through the deep snow - this $50 is personal spending while the monastery takes care of all other expences. Still, you can imagine, it could be a ...how should I put this -- ah, adjustment! I must admit that when Sr. Eileen told me about this, my first thought was CARE PACKAGES FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS! LOL
Hopefully, I have answered a lot of the usual questions. I know my friends have asked for more information.
And, how do I FEEL? I feel "different," from last Friday to last Saturday. I was surprised, since my thinking the entire time was that I did not care about these titles. I was (and am) just thankful to be here - in a place where I can grow closer to God. But, I DID feel different. After some introspection, I realized that - as with any ceremony, it DOES change your feelings. It is a public announcement of what you care about - what is important inside your heart. How could I have felt any differently?
