I know! You thought I dropped off a cliff, somewhere! It has been so long. And, it has. In the realm of time and in place. It has taken me a while to get hold of a computer that works, and it took me even longer to WANT to get on a computer.
Surprising. It was for me. So much of life has been computers. Work, friends, shopping, news, socializing. Yet, where I am now, there doesnt seem to be such a "need" for it. I forget to get on the computer! For me, that is sort of like forgetting to eat dessert! However, I wont go as far as saying its like forgetting to eat chocolate!
My first couple of weeks at the Dwelling Place Monastery was so tiring. The first week I hardly knew I was there. Each evening at Evening Prayer, everyone has a chance to say a prayer ending with, "We pray," and everyone answers, "Lord, hear our prayer." Days passed, and I never acknowledged my arrival! I knew they were beginning to wonder what was going on. Was I happy? Was I ready to pack the car and perhaps slip out in the night?
It was the trauma of leaving. No, not because I missed my home, family, friends, familiar things. It was what it took out of me to GET out of there. And it wasn't until I WAS out of there, that the trauma of it truly hit me hard. Like PTSD, I was numb; I rarely raised my head to look at the trees above me.
Five days after arriving, during Evening Prayer, I said, "In thanksgiving for my arrival for I HAVE arrived! We pray." And the Sisters all turned to me and smiled. In unison, they said, "LORD, hear our prayer."
And I have arrived. Each day I learn something new... where another dish goes in the largest kitchen I have ever seen... how a tiny piece of my heart fits inside this world of Joy.
I have arrived. I am SO tired and I am SO happy.
And, I will be back here very soon.
Much love for all of you who have waited with love.
