Oh! Holy Mountain

I'm still not writing about what it is like to be on that mountain, am I? What it is like to being a Nun wannabe... and what the process is like.
I guess there are so many subtleties that it makes it trickier than one would think to "describe" it. Try describing "my church" to someone and see how far you get! LOL... well, I am going to give it a try and see how rambling and vague I become!
I am not filing for postulancy, now.... I will in the future, and although I've been given the paperwork to fill out, there is now a drawback. I'm going to have major surgery and the bottom line is that I have to recover enough to care for myself before the Community can even consider me as a candidate. This has been hard on me in some ways, since as a dreamer, I would have liked for them to say "HEY, we LOVE you! Sign up and we will pray for you to get better and wait for your return from rehab to welcome you home." As it turns out, they will pray and wait, but not for a postulant... just a wannabe.
The reasons are obvious - the Community can not accept me until I demonstrate that I am physically able to be an active member of that Community; like any other. And right now, all energy is going to support Sr. Carolyn and ourselves as we all walk this journey of cancer with her.
Doesn't mean that I am not disappointed and a little scared that I won't be able to cut it.
My prayer life has become the backbone of my life. The chanting, the prayers, the Compline before bed each night. It is as if (and surely it does) replenish my energy. I will miss that while I am gone. I don't know when the surgery will be, but that's what I mean when I say I will be gone. OH! Holy Mountain, I have come to need your healing grace.
Not that everyone here is ready for Sainthood. LOL - there is one that has not agreed with a single idea I've had since I arrived. She is nice enough, but its like no one can have an idea without her taking exception to it. Although I could well be taking THAT too far.... it could be that we are on different poles and she only disagrees with MY ideas.
The latest has been over mice - and getting rid of them from St. Joseph's House (where I live). As dreaded, when cold weather came, so did the mice. I've gotten hold of some humane traps, and until last night, they were too smart for them! They figured out a way to eat the cheese and not be trapped, or at least they were escaping the trap. The sentiment was that I HAD to stop feeding those mice and there was a better way to get rid of them. I flatly informed everyone that I was NOT going to snap a mouse's neck because she/he sought refuge from the cold. I can not IMAGINE what that would be like! And I dont want to see it so that I had a mental picture of it! I plan to track down some larger and more sophisticated traps. One stupid mouse didn't make it out last night, but that's not a good record! I know they are pricey, those larger ones - but at this point, I have to cough it up or there will be snapped mouse necks!
And so, don't think for a minute that all is light and roses and prayers and angels on the Mountain. Someone told me that a religious goes into the monastery with their personality and there they keep it (have I mentioned that before?). I'd like to think that was a general generalization since I have already seen a great change in one of the Novices just since I've been here. And, I pray that I will change in any way that will serve others and myself to the best in this world.
But, first I have to leave this Holy Mountain - have surgery - get better - and return.